You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
