My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
