Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
