You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
