Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
