he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
