So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This house was built for laser tag.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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