I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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