Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
