It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The Olympian is in my bed
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
