yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
