Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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