ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
