Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
