you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
