So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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