remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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