pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
