I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
