im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
