I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
