You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
