I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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