I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
