We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
