i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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