I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He felt like a one man threesome
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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