he puts the penis in happiness.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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