I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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