Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
