ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
