She's JV to your varsity
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
