so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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