every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I smell stomach acid.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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