Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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