Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
