JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im holly from the hills drunk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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