47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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