I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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