With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
