My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
