Do you still have your period?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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