He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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