i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
