that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there's paper in my vomit.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Randomize
