I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
