funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Come on in and take your pants off
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