Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
