I hate your face
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just want nice things and good sex
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
