and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
