Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
