I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
