It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how can u be prego again
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
