We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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