Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
