Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
