Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
