I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My liver just had a heart attack.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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