marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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