Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
