i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
