All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Everything about him screamed your future.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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