so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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