dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
