I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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