What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
