I want to make a zoo with you.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
please come you make the beer taste better
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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